In An Instant
by AnonymousJJ
Summary: It only takes a second for everything to change. It's no different for Ana. One night changes her life and she doesn't know how to deal with it. Will someone help her through or does she face it on her own? A/U
1. Chapter 1

**I was going through my stuff and found this. I wrote it a year ago and planned on posting it but then real life got in the way. This does have some sensitive content and talks of rape, so if it's not your cup of tea, just hit the back button. Just know that my stories are not cheating stories, so it will eventually be a HEA! Don't be afraid to let me know what you think and if it's even worth continuing! **

I don't know how I got here. How I ended up in this horrible place in my life. Growing up, everything was perfect; I had loving parents who absolutely adored me, and an older brother who would (and did) do everything for me. We were a very tight nit little family, seeming to forget that at the snap of someone's fingers, everything could fall apart.

Aaron, my brother, and I were only two years apart so even though we were close growing up, things started to change once he was a senior in high school. He was the big sports star, captain of almost every team he joined. People just loved him that much. Then there was me: the shy little book worm that everyone made fun of. Apparently I was an easy target for all the popular people, and no matter how hard I tried to stay out of their line of sight, they always found me. It seemed all harmless, the name calling and shoulder shoving, hitting all my books out of my hands so they would fall to the floor, but one day something changed. It just stopped. As confused as I was, I tried not to think too much of, even when Aaron had come home from school saying he had heard what they were doing to me and basically chewed them all new assholes. Suddenly, the flashback of that night attacks me. The night that ruined everything.

"Ana, come on! You only have to stay for a little bit and then we will go, okay?" Karina looks at me with pleading eyes as I stare up at the house.

"I don't even know how I let you talk me into this. The people here don't even like me, Kar, and I don't want to piss Aaron off by showing up at his friends party." I mumble more to myself since I know she didn't hear a word of it. And of course, I knew I was right as soon as she grabbed my hand and started pulling me up the stairs. The second we get inside, I get a feeling that something bad is going to happen but try to push it aside as Karina leads us into the kitchen to grab a drink. I tried to ignore the looks and the whispers, the people staring at me wondering what I'm doing here. All I wanted to be was invisible, I didn't want the attention, and before I knew it, I got my wish.

Karina had found a guy to dance with which meant that I was pushed to the back burner and I was okay with that. I eventually started wandering around the house in search of the bathroom, thinking I could get a few minutes of silence. Boy, was I ever wrong. Before I could get the door closed, three guys I recognized from school pushed their way in behind me. The looks on their faces made me realize that the gut feeling I had walking into the house was real. Something was very, very wrong.

"You're such a fucking bitch. You just had to go whining to your brother didn't you?" one of the guys says before he smacks me across the face, sending me back into the wall. "It was all in innocent fun, but now the games been upped. Let's see how much fun we can have with you tonight shall we?"

I can feel my body start to shake but I try to not let it show. Next thing I knew, two of the guys were grabbing my arms and holding me in place as the ringleader started hitting me again, laughing the whole time. Just as I closed my eyes to try and stop the tears from falling, I felt a punch so hard it knocked the wind out of me. Before I could fall forward, the guy grabbed my face forcing me to look into his eyes. The green eyes that were so full of hate for me that if possible, scared me more then I was before. "You messed with the wrong people, little girl." His voice dripping with as much hate as his eyes held. Next thing I knew, he was ripping my pants down before undoing his own.

I finally found my voice. "No..no, no, no. Please don't...I'm sorry...please stop." It did no good though, and next thing I knew, he was pushing himself into me, ripping through my virginity so hard I screamed. I tried fighting, but the others had ahold of me too hard, and that made me cry and scream even louder. What did I ever do to deserve this? I never knew people like this existed. People that were so cruel they had to take something from others to make themselves feel good. And for the first time in my life, I actually wished that I was dead. Death had to be better then this. Better then this torture, better then the hurt and the sadness and the hate and the humiliation. I soon feel the fight leave my body. I feel nothing at all, actually. And just as I seem to find a spot on the wall behind my rapist, the door swings open.

"Hey Joel, what's going on..." I swing my gaze to see who just walked in when I catch my brothers eyes. I see a million different emotions pass on his face before he fully recognizes that it's me who's pinned to the wall by this 'Joel'. Everything happens so fast after that, because all I saw was a blur and then I felt the draft. The two on my sides finally let me go, probably scared about what was just about to go down in the small confines of this bathroom. Not caring about myself, I tried to move to help Aaron, I must've been weaker then I thought, though because the last thing I remember seeing is a pair of gray eyes full of sadness looking at me.

I woke up a few hours later, I'm assuming, in a stark white hospital room. It took me a few seconds to adjust to my surroundings, but when I heard the sniffles, I turned to see

Aaron sitting in a chair beside my bed. "Oh my god, I am so sorry. I...I...oh god." I couldn't help the tears that fell as I tried to get the words out.

"Hey, Ana, it's okay. Don't you worry about me." I see him look down at his hands and my eyes follow, seeing them in handcuffs.

"Aaron, what's going on? Why do you have those on?"

"I just came to say goodbye, sis. And I love you okay? Like I said, don't worry about me, just worry about getting yourself better." He stood up, giving me a kiss on the forehead before a police officer came and got him.

That was the night I lost my brother. The night he went to jail for murder.


	2. Chapter 2

**Wow! The feedback for this was better then I expected! I did get one guest review that made me shake my head. I know this has been used. This is my spin on it. And not that it's any of your business, but yes I have been abused so I know how a person feels and I'm using my feelings for Ana. If you don't like it, you don't need to read. Not all stories are for everyone and that's fine. **

**Another warning for this chapter, and after this one, there will be a time jump that is significant for the story itself. Even though there is talk of abuse (and cutting in this chapter), I will never go into second - by - second details.**

It's not your fault. You didn't make them do this. You're an innocent.

No matter how many people tell me this, or how many times I repeat those words in my head, I don't believe them.

If only I was perfect like Aaron. If only I didn't give people a reason to dislike me. If only I was strong enough to fight them off, I wouldn't have put my family in this position. My mother won't look at me, and my father has that disgusted look in his eyes when he does glance my way. Here I am stuck in a hospital bed beaten and bruised and they are blaming me for what's been done. They only seem to be concerned that my brother isn't here.

"I'm sorry..." I hear myself whisper, even though it doesn't sound like my voice. "I didn't mean for this to happen, mom. You have to believe me."

"I don't want to hear anything you have to say, Anastasia! This is your fault! Maybe if you had just left your brother alone, he wouldn't be in this mess. I can't believe my boy is in jail because of you!" she screams at me through her tears, causing mine to fall down my face even faster.

I wish I wasn't afraid to close my eyes. Every time I do, I see him pressed up against me. I can taste the bile just thinking about it. I rip out the iv without a second thought and race to the bathroom, shoving my face in the toilet bowl to vomit. No one comes after me to see if I'm okay. No one cares. No one has ever cared. I don't know what hurts me more; the fact that I am completely alone or that I'm the reason my family is broken apart.

When I'm finally done emptying the contents of my stomach, I stand up at the sink to wash up. I bet my parents would've been happier if they never had me. I thought we were the definition of perfect family, but as usual, I was wrong. I only had two people in my life and now one of them has been ripped from me while the other one hasn't come by at all. Karina was supposed to be my best friend, but I'm starting to think she only talked to me because I made her look good or because she felt obligated. I guess that's what happens when people grow up...they grow apart. We were inseparable as children. Wherever I went, she followed. Whatever she did, I joined. And it's taken me till this moment, the lowest of low, to realize that I lost her a long time ago.

I rest my head against the mirror, not stopping the tears. You would think I would be all cried out, that I wouldn't have any more tears to shed, but I'm even amazed. I bang my head, slightly pissed at myself for not realizing the waste of space that I am, and it's not until I hear a crack that I realize how hard I was actually hitting the mirror above me. I look up and see blood dripping from the cut just below my hair line. Funny, I don't feel any pain. I reach up to touch the broken piece, stabbing my finger at the same time. Still, no pain.

_You know you want to,_ the voice in my head whispers as I twist the glass in my hand.

_It won't hurt at all, come on, just one little cut._

_It will solve all your problems._

_No one would miss you._

_What are you waiting for?_

The voice is right. What am I waiting for? No one would have to suffer because of me any more. I glance up to the mirror just as the glass touches my skin.

"I'm sorry..." I say to myself one last time before everything goes dark.

•••••••••••••••••••••

CPOV

"What the fuck were you thinking, man?" I ask Aaron.

"It was my god damn sister, Christian! What did you expect me to do, just sit back and watch as that fucking asshole raped her?! You didn't see the look in her eyes. My heart broke for her. I can't imagine what that has done to her." I see his eyes well up with tears.

"I really am sorry, Aaron. I would do everything to protect Mia too, but I wouldn't almost beat a guy to death. Now they've got you in here for attempted murder so you better pray that fucking plug pulls through." I take a breath, rubbing my hands on my head. "Look, my dad said he is doing everything he can to try and get you out of here, but you need to just keep your mouth shut. It won't do you or your sister any favours by talking about it."

He lets out a sigh. "I know...I know. Can you do me a favour?" I nod. "Can you go check on her please? When I left her earlier, she wasn't handling it very well. I just want to know she's okay. And tell her I love her."

Just as he finishes, the guard comes over to let me know time is up. "I will come back tomorrow and fill you in. Take care of yourself, dude." I catch the nod of his head as I get up to walk away. I feel sorry for the bastard. Eighteen years old and not only is he in jail, but he witnessed his sixteen year old sister being raped. When I get to the front desk, I sign out as they grab my wallet, phone and keys. I text my dad on the way to my car,

Just saw Aaron. He's a mess but I told him you would be in touch. On my way to the hospital, will be home soon. - C

He doesn't answer back, even though I know he's read it. But then again, I don't expect an answer. As expected, both my parents were pissed that I had a party while they were out of town. Of course I knew I was going to get in shit for it, but once they heard about what happened, the punishment wasn't as bad. All I have to do is help Mrs Lincoln with her yard work since her husband is never around to do it. She's fucking hot for an older lady but she gives me the creeps.

Traffic is light, so I make it to the hospital in no time at all. I see my moms car is still here so I make a mental note to stop at her office before I leave.

"Hi, I'm here to see Anastasia Steele. Can you let me know what room she's in please?" I say to the nurse at the front desk.

She looks at me over the rim of her glasses with a disapproving look before she answers. "She's not supposed to have any visitors so make it quick. She's in room 1206."

"Thank you." I say with a smile and turn to walk down the hall.

I wonder what she's going to think when she sees a stranger walk into her room. I've never met this girl before last night, and I only know Aaron because of football. Just as I round the corner, I see an older couple walking out of the room I'm headed to. They don't look up as they pass me, but I can tell they are upset. I wonder if they are her parents? Why aren't they with her if they are? Just as I step in the doorway, I hear a crash coming from the bathroom, causing me to run to the door.

"Hey!" I say, banging on the door. "Are you okay?"

Silence.

"Ana! I need you to open the door for me please."

More silence.

"If you don't open this door, I will break it down."

Nothing.

I know mom would be pissed if I broke the door down for nothing, so I think to try the door handle on the off chance she didn't lock it. It seems luck is on my side today as the it moves when I push it down. But it's what I see when I get the door open that has me rushing in. Surrounded and covered in blood is the same girl I picked off the bathroom floor last night. I pick her up and run out to the hall screaming for help.

"Come on Ana, stay with me alright? We will get you some help, I just need you to open those beautiful eyes. SOMEONE HELP ME! I NEED HELP!"

The first person to respond was the last person I was expecting.

"Mom, help her please!"


	3. Chapter 3

**I've rewritten this chapter four times now and I'm still not happy with it, so I apologize but I didn't want you guys to have to wait any longer!**

"What should I do, mom? I feel like I owe it to Aaron to watch over her, but there's just something about her that I can't just walk away from."

"Christian, you barely know the girl. And she's sixteen. A little young for you, don't you think?" She whispers.

"Mom, really? I'm not even thinking about that. Especially considering all that she's been through. I can't really explain what I feel, but right now, I seem to be the only one she's got. I haven't seen her parents at all since I've been here and her brother is still in jail." I take a deep breath. "What are our options, mom? I mean, obviously she is going to need help and I want to be there for her, whether she wants me to or not. So, what can we do?"

"Is this really what you want?" I nod my head, causing her to sigh. "I know a therapist who would probably be willing to take Ana on as a patient. I can't guarantee anything and we will have to see if she is even willing to go, but I can give Dr Carter a call and see what she says..." she pauses.

"What is it mom?"

"Even if she does say she will take Ana, she is in California."

"Okay, so then I take her there. How bad could it be, right?"

"Son, is there another reason why you're so dead set on helping her? I feel like you're hiding something from me"

"Like I said, I can't explain it. But I do feel like I owe her, and I would hope that Aaron would do the same with Mia if the roles were reversed. Only difference is I have you and dad as parents. She literally has no one right now. And walking into the bathroom the other day was the second time that I've saved her. If that doesn't mean something to her then fine, but it means something to me. I can't walk away from her now." I look around the hospital cafeteria, which is surprisingly empty, before I continue. "I'm not a kid anymore, mom. You technically can't stop me from going along with her, you know that right?"

A smile tugs at her lips. "Of course I know that! I just want to make sure you're not doing this for the wrong reasons. When is Aaron's court date anyways?"

"It's in two days. I'm going to talk to him and let him know the plan. I think it would be good to take her before then though, as hard as it may be for the both of them, I think it's the easiest solution at the same time." I get up and round the table, pulling her in for a hug as I whisper in her ear, "Thank you, mom."

"For what, my boy?"

"For being you." I give her a smile as I see the tears well up in her eyes. I never noticed till now just how hard this will be on everyone, but I need to do this.

•••••••••••••••••••••••••

**_Two Years Later..._**

APOV

I never thought I would come back to this place...the place that broke me. My therapist seems to think that it's a good idea, though.

_You need to face your demons_, she said.

Fuck that! I don't need or want to.

So why are you here then? The annoying voice in my head whispers.

I sigh. Because, I silently answer back. Even though I don't want to be here, there is a family I owe everything to. They helped save me when no one else would. When everyone else walked out of my life. And of course when I say everyone else, I mean my parents. I never saw or spoke to them again after.._that day_...in the hospital. I do catch myself wondering how they are, what they are doing. But then I snap back to reality when I realize that they would've tried to find me if they truly cared.

I haven't even seen my brother since then, either. I've talked to him while I've been gone but he never knew where I was until a couple months ago. When he tried to come visit, it broke my heart telling him no, but I just wasn't ready yet. I wasn't ready to look him in the face. So as I sit here at Cedar Park drinking my tea awaiting his arrival, I wonder, what makes me ready now? I guess I'm not, but Dr Carter thinks it's good for me.

"Is this seat taken?"

I can't help but smile at the soothing voice beside me.

"No, I can't say that it is. I'm waiting for someone but I think he stood me up."

"Who would do such a thing to a beautiful girl like yourself?"

"Someone stupid obviously." I laugh.

"How are you, Ana? You look good. Great, actually! That California sun has worked wonders for you."

"I'm okay, Grace." I look at her soft brown eyes. "All thanks to you. I don't think I could ever thank you enough for all you guys have done for me."

She pulls me in for a hug as she whispers in my ear, "I would do it all over again if it meant that smile was put on your face." She pushes me far enough away to look at me. "My, you've grown into such a beautiful woman. I bet you've had to fight those hot surfer boys off with their boards."

"Mrs G, that is NOT funny!" A deep voice says from behind her.

"Aaron!"

"Hey Annie." He replies with a smile as I run into his open arms. "Oh, it is so good to wrap my arms around you!" He lifts me up and spins me around. When he finally puts me down, he pushes me away slightly, repeating Graces words. "You look great, little sis. I've missed you!"

"I missed you too, Aaron, so much!"

"So," he begins as we take a seat at the table. "How have you been? What made you decide to come back?"

"I've been good! Was nice to get away, to get myself together. My therapist and Christian both said it's time for me to start facing what happened to me. I don't completely agree, simply because I don't feel like I'm ready, but I missed you and it broke my heart when I wasn't able to be here for you.."

"Christian was with you?"

I nod. "He's been really great. He's been with me for everything and kept me up to date with all that's been going on here. I remember just after we left here, he told me about Joel waking up and admitting to everything that happened that night. I had mixed emotions. I was happy that you wouldn't be going to jail but I was scared that I would have to come back and face him when it was time to go to court. I started having a panic attack, all he did was sit beside me and help me through it. Eventually when I calmed down, he told me that I wouldn't have to come back because between his admission and my medical records, they had enough evidence to put him in jail without my testimony. I don't know what would've happened to me if he wasn't there, Aaron. He's been my rock."

He sits there looking at me, like he's not sure what to think about what I told him. "So...you and Christian...have you, uh...you know...do you...*cough*..are you guys, like, together?"

I can't help the laugh that escapes. "No. In the beginning, I had a hard time with him being there. How else was I supposed to react when I was told that I would be going across the country with a guy I didn't know after what I had just been through?" I look down at my hands on my lap, fiddling with my fingers. "But, I got used to him. Every night I would wake up crying, he would come and hold me, or rub my back to try and soothe me when I wouldn't let him put his arms around me. On the nights I was afraid to close my eyes, he would sit with me on the beach and not say a word. I did try to kiss him one night, but he never kissed me back and that was the only time. I look at him as a brother, he was the closest I had at the time." Aaron seems content with my answer, even if I did somewhat lie to him. The night I kissed Christian, he most definitely kissed me back, but when he pulled away, he told me it was wrong and even if we did have feelings for each other, we couldn't act on them. Of course I respected what he said and went about my daily routine, trying to push what I felt for him aside.

Just as I lift my head to look at my brother, the sight of the man I've grown to love is standing by a tree behind him, far enough away to give us privacy, but close enough for me to see the smile on his face. I can't help but smile back as catch his eyes, silently letting him know I'm okay. I know he cares for me like I care for him, but we are both trying to respect Aaron.

His voice beside me brings me back to where I'm supposed to be. "So, are you okay? Like, really okay?" The look in his eyes reminding me that not that long ago, my eyes also held the same amount of sadness.


End file.
